What Makes You You?

Episode 56 of the Secular Buddhism Podcast

Welcome to another episode of the Secular Buddhism podcast. This is episode number 56. I'm your host, Noah Rasheta, and today I'm talking about what makes you you.

Understanding Self as Perception

Andrew Olensky, author of the book Untangling Self: A Buddhist Investigation of Who We Really Are, says that according to classical Buddhist thought, self is a view. In other words, it is a product of our perception.

Perception is something that's always happening. It's the ongoing stream of perceptions that help us to interpret the experience we're having of reality. And this is a process that's happening all the time, from moment to moment.

Olensky says that perception is an event that occurs rather than a thing that exists. So we can imagine it like we're watching the still frames of a film. Each frame is unique as it's captured, but as it's played in our mind, it feels like a continuous film. We see this process as a cohesive narrative or a story.

So if we were able to pause this ongoing film—I like to call it the perception of life—and see the individual frames frame by frame, what would we see? And remember, from the Buddhist perspective, it's not even necessarily about what we see, it's about how we see what we see.

This is where the teaching of the Five Aggregates comes in.

A Quick Update

Before I jump into the teaching, I want to give a quick update on a few housekeeping items with the podcast.

The first one is that starting yesterday, I started a new job. Many of you who follow the podcast know the saga I've been involved with—losing my company and dealing with all the difficulties that arise out of that process. Well, I'm happy to announce that I have a new job. I'm a social media specialist at an event center close to where I live, and it's a really fun gig.

The reason I bring that up is because it puts me back in the position I was in when I started the podcast: the podcast is essentially a hobby for me. It's something that I do because I enjoy it. I love talking about these topics, but it's not something I do because I have to. I don't have to depend on the podcast in any way.

I wanted to mention that because I do think it's important for those of you who listen and gain something from the podcast and who donate. I really appreciate that. Those donations go towards the maintenance of the podcast and towards the ability to grow it, to do workshops, and things of that nature. The donations do not go towards me—I don't get paid, and I don't pay myself. Fortunately, I've never had to.

While I was considering whether or not to find a way to make the podcast my source of income, I'm glad that I don't have to. That may change in the future. Who knows what's around the corner? But for now, I don't have to, and I really like having that pressure off my shoulders. It allows me to do this just because it's what I enjoy doing.

A Note on Donations

With that said, I want to emphasize something for those of you who do donate in any way to the podcast. Remember the parable of the raft: as these teachings resonate with you and make sense for you, use them as a part of your journey. I really appreciate the contributions. If it ever reaches the point where these teachings are no longer part of your day-to-day experience, or you've moved on to something else, feel free to jump out and donate to whatever podcast or cause you're involved with at that time.

I hope nobody ever feels a sense of obligation to this podcast or to me. If you've been donating, that doesn't mean you have to keep donating. Use this while it works. Once it's no longer a useful thing in your life—maybe you've moved past it and found other sources or another podcast that serves as a stepping stone to wherever you're headed—remember I view it that way, and I hope you do too.

Nobody should ever feel locked in. Hopefully, while you do benefit from the podcast, if you're willing, all of the contributions I receive go towards promoting the podcast, advertising it, helping other people discover it, and helping people attend workshops. It's used for all of those things. None of it is used for me in terms of employing me in any way. I just wanted to clarify that for anyone who didn't know how this works.

That's the main housekeeping item I wanted to go over. It's been exciting for me, and I thought it'd be fun for a lot of you to know, since many of you do follow me and my life updates.

The Question: What Makes You You?

So jumping back into this topic—what makes you you? I've been wanting to share this topic for a while. I keep a running list of topic ideas, and throughout the week I look at them. The one that stands out the most is the one I end up sharing. This one's been on my radar for a while.

In fact, last Monday I started to record this podcast. About halfway through, the construction team outside my office decided to start tearing down the road and breaking up the cement. It got really loud, and it was impossible to continue recording. So I wasn't able to upload a podcast last week.

I ended up missing my window, and then I flew to Florida. I taught a workshop there—a corporate workshop in Miami and a normal workshop in Orlando. The idea with these workshops is that the cost of going and putting on the workshop is more than what I receive from the people attending. I had twelve attendees at about forty-five to fifty dollars to attend. But once you factor in airfare, rental car, hotel, and meals, the workshop loses money. I can do that because of the donations to the podcast, so that's a quick clarification there.

But this topic—what makes you you?—has been on my mind a lot lately.

The Five Skandas: The Five Aggregates

The historical Buddha taught about something called the Five Skandas, also known as the Five Aggregates. These are essentially the five components that come together to make you you, to make an individual.

One way I like to think of this is in terms of pizza. I don't know why pizza just popped into my head, but if I were to say, "Here is a pizza," and ask what the components are that make it a pizza, you would look at it and say, "Well, it's dough, cheese, pepperoni—whatever the elements are that make the pizza what it is." That's what we're looking at in terms of us as humans. What makes me me?

The Buddha teaches that there are five aggregates—five key components that make you who you are. Everything that we perceive as "I," the sense of self, is a function of these five components.

Try to imagine the perception you have of yourself, your sense of self, in the context of these five components. I often talk about how life is impermanent and interdependent. I think these are two of the key teachings that Buddhism continually emphasizes—the two eyes of wisdom. Well, another way of understanding interdependence is to understand that all things are conditioned. In other words, to be conditioned is to be dependent on or affected by something else.

This is because that is.

In this sense, we are conditioned or dependent on other things. I am because of other things. So this allows me to pause and ask: Well, then what are those things? What makes me me? And I hope that by the end of this podcast episode, you're really thinking about that question too.

What makes you you?

The Buddha's Core Teaching

The Buddha taught that there is no independent or permanent self. Understanding the teaching of the five skandas—the five aggregates—is one of the most fundamental teachings in Buddhism. It's called the doctrine of anattā, or "non-self."

This doesn't mean that you don't exist. It means that what you think of as "you"—as this solid, unchanging, independent self—is not what you think it is. Instead, what we call "self" is a collection of these five aggregate processes.

Let me break down each one.

The First Aggregate: Form (Matter)

The first aggregate is form, or rupa in Sanskrit. This refers to material things and matter. It's the physical body—your flesh, bones, organs, and all the biological elements that make up your physical form. But form is not you. Your body changes from moment to moment. The cells in your body are constantly dying and being replaced. The shape of your body changes over time. Is the shape of your body you?

Consider this: if your body changed significantly—if you gained a lot of weight or lost a lot of weight, if you got a tattoo or cut your hair—would you no longer be you? Of course not. So your form, while part of the aggregate, is not ultimately what you are.

The Second Aggregate: Sensation (Feeling Tone)

The second aggregate is sensation, or vedanā. This is about the feeling tone of our experience—whether something feels pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral to us. When you see something, when you hear something, when you taste something, there's a quality to that experience. Is it pleasant? Is it unpleasant? Is it neutral?

This feeling tone is constantly arising in response to our sensory experiences. It's one of the reasons we like certain people or foods or activities, and we dislike others. But here's the key: sensation is not you. The pleasant or unpleasant feeling you have about something is a temporary experience, arising in response to conditions. It's not a fixed part of who you are.

The Third Aggregate: Perception (Recognition)

The third aggregate is perception, or saññā. This is how we recognize, label, and interpret our experiences. When you see an apple, perception is the function that recognizes, "That's an apple." When you hear a sound, perception recognizes what that sound is. It's the process of categorizing and labeling.

But here's something interesting: two people can perceive the same thing completely differently. What you perceive as a beautiful sunset, someone else might perceive as a time to go inside because it's getting cold. What you perceive as a spider to be feared, someone else perceives as an interesting creature. Perception is shaped by your past experiences, your culture, your conditioning. It's not fixed or permanent. And it's certainly not the core of who you are.

The Fourth Aggregate: Mental Formations (Thoughts and Intentions)

The fourth aggregate is mental formations, or saṃskāra. This includes thoughts, intentions, emotions, and mental reactions. It's the mental content and the mental activity that arises in our minds. When you have a thought, when you feel an emotion, when you form an intention—these are mental formations.

Mental formations are highly conditioned. They arise in response to what we perceive. They're shaped by our past experiences, our beliefs, our conditioning. You might have the habit of getting angry when someone cuts you off in traffic. That anger is a mental formation—it's not permanent, and it's not ultimately who you are. Someone raised in a different culture might not even notice that someone had cut them off.

The Fifth Aggregate: Consciousness (Awareness)

The fifth aggregate is consciousness, or vijñāna. This is awareness itself—the knowing quality of mind. It's the awareness of seeing through the eyes, hearing through the ears, thinking through the mind. But importantly, consciousness is dependent on other conditions. You can't have consciousness without sensory objects. Visual consciousness depends on the eye and a visual object. Auditory consciousness depends on the ear and a sound.

Consciousness is not some independent witness observing everything. It's dependent on the conditions that produce it. And it's constantly changing from moment to moment.

Understanding How Self Arises

Andrew Olensky explains that our sense of self is created by the emotional responses we experience moment to moment. The moment we see something, the sensation of the person who sees it emerges. I see something, and then I have the sensation of "I am the one seeing it." The sense of self emerges.

Olensky says the self is created by our emotional responses as they unfold each moment. When we crave an object—when we want something—then the person who wants it is constructed. When I generate aversion towards an object, when I hate something, then the person who hates it comes into existence.

This can be a really important thing to understand in terms of the sense of self that I'm experiencing. It allows me to perceive reality, to perceive the world around me, but also to pause and say, "Well, who is this that's perceiving?" This question is at the heart of Buddhist practice.

The Buddha wove his explanation of these teachings of the five aggregates into a lot of his teachings. And the most important point he made about these teachings, in my opinion, is that he emphasized: these skandas are not you. These aggregates are not you. They are temporary, interdependent, conditioned phenomena.

He taught that clinging to these aggregates as "me," as "I," is the illusion. It's an illusion.

So when we realize that these aggregates are just temporary phenomena conditioned on other phenomena—which are also temporary—and that they are not me, then we're on the path to enlightenment.

An Example: Stinky Cheese

Let me give you an example. Someone may have had the experience in the past of enjoying stinky cheese at their grandparents' house with someone they deeply cared about. This creates an emotional relationship to the sensation of smelling stinky cheese. Maybe down the path of life, they have no problem with it. In fact, they might like it. It's a pleasant experience.

At the same time, someone else may have the opposite experience. Maybe the smell of stinky cheese reminds them of somebody's feet when they took their shoes off in school or something along those lines. You get what I'm trying to imply here: our physical sensations and perceptions have emotional connections to them. That's one of the things we're trying to learn through understanding the skandas.

The point is that the same sensation—the smell of cheese—can produce completely different responses depending on our conditioning, our past experiences, and the emotional associations we've created. And yet we often think of our preferences as if they were part of our essential self. "I'm a person who likes cheese" or "I'm a person who doesn't like cheese." But is that really you, or is it just a conditioned response?

The Buddha's Teaching on the Five Skandas

The Buddha taught about this in the Majjhima Nikāya, discourse 22. This translation of his teaching says: "Whatever is not yours, abandon it. What is it that is not yours? Material form, feeling, perception, formations, consciousness—these are not yours. When you have abandoned them, that will lead to your welfare and happiness for a long time."

That's what the Buddha had to say regarding these five skandas.

What Makes You You?

So I want to go back to the original question: What makes you you?

I think the short answer is: all these things make you you, but none of them are you.

It's like recognizing that this is how I am right now, but it's not what I am. It's recognizing that this is the way I perceive certain things—things that I like, things that I don't like—but that's not even me.

Here's what I mean. If you don't like Brussels sprouts, you have to ask yourself: Is it me that doesn't like them, or are there temporary aspects of me—maybe the taste buds I inherited—that allow me to experience or not experience bitter taste? Is that the reason why I don't like them, or is it me as some inherent self that says, "Yeah, I don't like Brussels sprouts"?

I think that's a very different relationship to have with the experience. Instead of identifying as "I don't like Brussels sprouts," you might say, "My mouth, my taste buds, don't respond well to them." Or "I can't eat that because it makes me sick."

That's the understanding we gain through these five aggregates. It helps us relate differently to the sense of self that we all experience. We all experience a sense of self that says, "Here I am, seeing. Here I am, hearing. Here I am, thinking." We experience the thinker of the thoughts, the listener of the sounds, the seer of the sights.

But none of those is you.

And that's what this is trying to get at.

Learning to Observe Without Attachment

This understanding allows us to start to observe without attachment. We're able to see what's unfolding in our sphere of reality, in our perceptions. Even the emotional associations, the mental formations I'm making between these perceptions—I can still pause there and say, "Well, that's not me either."

This whole idea is about learning to observe without attachment. This is what we practice when we sit and meditate. We try to switch from that thinking mind to the observing mind. What do I see if I'm just seeing what's there, not making meaning of it?

You don't have to think, "Oh, I don't like this." But you can go deeper and say, "I don't have to think about the feeling of the feeling either. I don't have to have thoughts like, 'Well, I don't like that, I don't like this.'" You can observe that too.

Further Exploration

If you want to learn more about this entire topic, I have several books that I really enjoy. The one I'm going to recommend for this specific podcast episode is Andrew Olensky's book, Untangling Self: A Buddhist Investigation of Who We Really Are. You can find it on Amazon. I think it's also on my book list at secularbuddhism.com/books. That book will give you more insight into the Buddhist understanding of the sense of self and why we perceive such a strong sense of self.

Closing

That's all I have for this podcast episode today. If you enjoyed it, please share it with others. Write a review, give it a rating on iTunes—all of that helps.

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That's all I have for now. I look forward to recording another podcast episode soon. Thank you for joining me.

Until next time.

For more about the Secular Buddhism podcast and Noah Rasheta's work, visit SecularBuddhism.com